I wrote this a long time ago. But a lot of it is still true in my heart.

I have so much love to give.
I'm willing to give it all away.
The only question I have is,
who is going to give all their love to me?
Is there room for both of us?
Can we overcome?

Things go wrong every other day.
I don't like wanting to give up every other day.
It's a horrible feeling.
I always try my best to put you first.
Of all the humans on this earth, you are currently my favorite.
Can we make this work?
Is this meant to be?

Blurred images of my wedding day.
A dress. Flowers. A small ceremony.
But who is the groom?
Only God knows.
But for now, I'm praying every night it's you.

I've bottled up too much and soon it will all pour out.
Tears will hit the pillow like rain on concrete.
What have I done?
God, what have I done?
I don't deserve your forgiveness.
Are things supposed to be this way?
Is this part of your plan for me?
Why is it so hard for me to trust you?
You're all I have. I'll do whatever it takes.
Please...help me.
I'm scared for my well being.
Can I do this? I want to.
Will it work this time around? I hope so.

The world is eating away at us,
filling us with it's lies hidden as truths.
Flash your brights.
Open your eyes with me.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.

You're all I have.
Please don't leave me.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm so scared.
Go to bed, little girl.
His angels will protect you.
I promise.

-b.
3.8.09
12:30AM

Full moon.

The moon looks beautiful tonight.
Let's invest in love.
Real love. Not just that romantic kind.
On this cold winter's night.
Let's hold hands and talk about our existence.
Look at that open sky.
Do you think God is here with us?
Do you think He chuckles when we do?
I think He does.
Let's lie in this open field and cuddle under a blanket.
Let's talk about how amazing it is that we're alive.
How thankful we are for all the good and the bad.
Because everything that happens, we can learn from.
Sometimes it may take days.
Sometimes years.
But it always works for the best.
I'm so grateful for the good. But especially the bad.
I love the feeling when I know I've learned something from my past.
Isn't it nice to know I love you?
There aren't many people I would give up so much for.
But you deserve the best.
Whether it's with me or not in the future, I'm just happy for the present.
Thank you for talking with me.
Listening to me.
And most of all, for caring about me.
Thank God for best friends.
I'm truly blessed.
And that's what my life is about right now.
As I lie in this open field.
On this cold winter's night.
Staring at the ravishing moon in all it's beauty.
With you.

-b.